Caring About Career, In Moderation

You know that feeling of sailing along, thinking you know where you stand on a particular subject, and then the direction of the wind changes and you have to scurry around the boat to make adjustments? (Won’t go into those, as this is not my area of expertise, even though I grew up near water. Have a vague memory, however, of needing to get out of the way, fast, of a swinging-around mast).

Something like this happened to me recently, involving the subject of careers and how important or unimportant they are. This time, the “pastor’s wife” part of my identity will recede, temporarily, and the “working woman” one will be out front. There’s just not room for everybody all at the same time.

Elevate Ourselves

A few weeks ago, I was invited, through my job, to a special event — a “Women’s Leadership Luncheon.”

This was the very first time the Chamber has done such an event, which was intended to boost the “Courage + Confidence” of local women working in a variety of fields, bringing them together mostly to hear the stories — via panel discussions — of local individuals who had achieved a certain level of success in their career paths. Those of us who work in high schools were also encouraged to bring a female student along, and I was glad to do that. Mariah and I both enjoyed getting to know the M.C., who struck a nice tone in offering tidbits of research having to do with women in the workplaces; listening to the presentations; and meeting a few people at our table. Especially fortuitous for me was chatting with several women who work for a tech company that had apparently ducked my previous outreach efforts. I also appreciated the thoroughly modern experience of scanning the code with my phone to get into the “Menti” site, where we answered survey questions.

It was heartening, at this “luncheon” (a word I recall first encountering when I was tearing through Nancy Drew mysteries, around the age of 11) to hear from the women who had climbed high in their careers, now occupying positions of leadership, that team collaboration and good listening were both hallmarks — as opposed to, say, looking out for their own reputations and out-performing other women, in particular.

What’s not to like about this kind of event? The goal was for participants to leave feeling more “empowered” and, while there wasn’t any meter for measuring this on our way out, I daresay most of us were glad that we attended, even if we didn’t return to our workplaces with bold new visions for conquering challenges and getting everything right. Probably the most important takeaway was the sense of having allies, relaxing into the reality that we might tap into the strengths of others as we continue to strive.

On the Other Hand, Less Self-Consciousness, Please

Right on the heels of this pleasant and stimulating occasion, the direction of the wind changed out there in the bay where I’d been sailing and I found myself grabbing ropes to figure out how not to capsize.

This took the form of a reading, when I picked up the Sept. 22nd edition of The New York Times Magazine, an interview with the Irish novelist, Sally Rooney. She’s the notably young — early 30s — author of a few mega-hits, centering on the course of particular relationships among Millennials (her own age group). Here’s the trio:

Her newest book, INTERMEZZO, has just been published; not surprisingly, it’s the lead story in today’s NYT Book Review and her millions of fans will be clamoring to dive in. I read an excerpt of it, so I know that one of the main characters is a chess master, and that the book focuses on his relationship with his older brother in the aftermath of their father’s death.

You can read the whole interview here:https://www.nytimes.com/2024/09/21/magazine/sally-rooney-interview.html.

Ok, so what’s the tie-in with a “Women’s Leadership Luncheon” happening in the Lakes Region of New Hampshire? Only this: while that event was all about why we should elevate and celebrate our own careers, become good advocates for ourselves as we toil alongside men who get promoted more and earn more, this particular writer, who has zoomed up to a high rung in the literary world, expresses zero interest in talking about her own pathway to success, her own story. She even flatly says, “I don’t care about my career.” She is all about entering the world of her characters, the way she tries to capture crucial shifts that can happen between two people. She wants us to pay attention only to her work, which she insists is in no way autobiographical. “I feel like I’m so uninteresting,” she says.

One thing I take from this is that she wouldn’t be keen on being a panelist, if she knew the questions would be primarily about how she’s gotten so far, or so high, or whatever.

Just a few days later, I got another dose of what I’ll call “Reasons to De-Escalate Career.” This was a first-person essay, admittedly most relevant to a small subset of the population, about the kind of stress that an intense atmosphere of pre-professionalism can bring. Here’s the article, which depending on where it’s printed, might be titled, “Careerism is Ruining College.” https://www.nytimes.com/2024/09/24/opinion/college-linkedin-finance-consulting.html. We know that most words ending in “ism” are pejorative terms, and this one’s no exception. There’s a huge qualitative difference between being a careerist — someone clamoring to advance for the sake of looking better on LinkedIN, becoming a more desirable candidate than peers — and being someone who cares primarily about doing truly good work for its own sake and, secondarily, for building a satisfying career, perhaps also rising to a leadership position and helping others perform well, too.

This speaker has attentive listeners; maybe she’s truly earned that position through her own hard work.

Sometimes Things Just Need to Get Fixed, and That’s Enough

With all this tumult swirling around in my brain, I must say it came as some relief to bring some students to an Automotive College and Career Fair a week ago. There, we learned that each of the community colleges in New Hampshire offer programs where teenagers can become certified auto technicians and, even before they earn a two-year degree, start working at specific dealerships: Toyota, General Motors, Subaru, Mercedes-Benz, and more. Nobody said this was an easy pathway but an individual who makes a commitment to gaining skill after specific skill can absolutely look forward to earning a solid living.

And the guy who showed these students his 1962 Pontiac Grand Prix told them that he keeps tinkering with the engine mostly because he loves the car.

On this trip, I didn’t hear anyone say what they were absolutely sure they wanted to do in the future; leadership wasn’t the main value being held up, and certainly not claiming a certain coveted status in the society. But there was still a sense that satisfaction and even fulfillment were attainable through learning how to complete tasks that are, in fact, deemed essential for maintaining a certain way of life to which we have all grown accustomed: i.e, driving around. Come November, a much bigger event — “New Hampshire Bringing Back the Trades” — will draw hundreds of high school groups.

Friends of ours recently posted about their last sailing weekend of the season, and I say “Bravo!” to that, admiring their adventurousness as well as their know-how. Meanwhile, I’ll content myself with having taken a somewhat weird kind of journey in recent weeks through various interpretations of what careers are all about, how aspirations can take different directions and result in different outcomes. There’s almost no similarity, of course, but in both cases, it helps to enjoy the breeze.

What’s your view? Did you find the right career (or more than one) for who you are? Are you still in that process? And, if you’re retired now, how are you looking back on what you did and what the greatest satisfactions were?