Family, Food, and Flexibility: The New Age

Today we’re going to look closely at two terms with an almost automatic heartwarming quality: FAMILY and FOOD. Ah yes, I know, your whole inner being is already feeling the glow…there’s a big table, smiles and laughter, glasses clinking, sharing of tales, a high chair with a baby banging a spoon or, why not, perhaps a slightly hunched over grandparent sitting near a sullen, for the moment anyway, teenager. Disorganized, perhaps; raucous, sometimes; but generally good, right?

Except, remember, this is a blog about dissimilar entities keeping company with one another, starkly different things lying side by side, or perhaps standing up and duking it out — contrasts of all kinds, ones that might even make your jaw drop.

Welcome to my particular family of five and the range of ways we choose to eat. If you can keep it all straight, you’re a mightier person than I am. As for food groups in the pyramid, however, we got those covered.

Without naming names, let me give you some idea what I’m talking about.

1) One of us eats primarily healthy food but eschews (like that?) any strict rules. OK, since you would’ve guessed anyway, I’ll fess up. Good things like kale, grains, and nectarines are supreme; but nothing is completely out of the question, except perhaps salami, Fruit Loops, or Marshmallow Fluff. Breyers once in a while? Not a crime in my book..reminds me of my childhood when my father used to head to the big freezer after dinner, asking attentively, “A little ice cream?” But in those days it was pretty much always vanilla, from the drive-through Dairy Barn.

2) One of us eats, for dinner anyway, meat or fish and lots and lots of greens, often in a kind of colorful ratatouille that is, admittedly, out of this world. At all other times, fruits and nuts of all kinds –generally purchased in small bags –have become fundamental sources of nourishment. Yes, this is what it means to go PALEO — not to be confused with POLIO, which was in fact a disease we have tried to eradicate. Person expresses contentment with diet and maintains rigorous exercise routine, although other family members wonder about plain old hunger. Projection, no doubt.

3) One of us has gone so enthusiastically VEGAN that he/she has put that bumper sticker on the car, so no matter who is driving it, there it is. This person not only eats no meat (or fish) or eggs (!!!!) but regularly tries to persuade Person #2 that he/she really should re-examine his/his philosophy for the betterment of the planet. Fortunately, they both agree that any plate worth its salt – ok, maybe not the right term– should be overflowing with green, green, green. This person also will in fact still eat cereal, rice, and potatoes and even – gasp – BREAD –a substance considered, by other members of the family, to be part of the Evil Empire.

4) One of us, again loving all vegetables, has pretty much given up on beef as well as grains/pasta/cereal but still retains a taste for bacon and has stayed true to his/her longtime passion for fruit of all kinds. Pineapple and avocados, PLEASE! This person also shifts food preferences once in a while, keeping life interesting. Yogurt, for instance – you never know. And the former zest for certain kinds of candy (remember that word?) such as, say, Skittles — VANISHED with the teenage years.

5) One of us, with a very healthy appetite, is cooking regularly for her/himself generally after hard workouts. This presents a number of challenges, including one involving the wallet. He/she is a big fan of those cans of beans that Person #2 used to like to eat, with as many fresh veggies as available. Actually shares characteristics with both the PALEO and VEGAN diets of Persons 2 and 3, and could probably go either way. Very occasionally may eat chocolate cake, if others at the table indulge, but has no trouble staying away from cookies.

Whew — that’s a lot to swallow, no? Maybe things in your family have gone a similar route, or rather, routes. To take a tip from William James, I might call it The Varieties of Gastronomic Experiences.

I’m still trying to sort all of the changes out. It helps a bit, I guess, that very rarely are all five of us gathered around the same table. No, wait, I don’t mean that the way it sounded. All’s I know for sure is that the old days — when I, the mother of the family, used to prepare ONE main meal and serve it proudly to kids who arrived at their stools when summoned, or at the table when we were all together – those days are gone. They were sweet days, for the most part, but they couldn’t last.

A role that was once pretty well defined — a bit like how the different kinds of food stayed in their own quadrants on a plate — has morphed into something else entirely. Now, I need to do some relinquishing, go with the flow, let everyone eat what they choose to eat, and maybe even examine my own choices more thoroughly. My family is giving me food for thought.

I just need to figure out what to do with the example of my friend Lauren’s grandmother: she’s about to be 102, with mind intact, and for much of her life she’d go to the local deli and ask for, “Pastrami, with plenty of fat.”

Some things, at least, are clear. With a bumper crop of tomatoes in our raised beds out back, we can all agree on how luscious they are.

Well, actually, I take that back…one of us has never really liked them – too mushy, or too many seeds, or maybe too red. So, wait, how come watermelons are fine then?