In Phones We Don’t Necessarily Trust

As we approach the time in the calendar when thoughts among the youngest of us turn to preparations underway up at the North Pole – and thank goodness for that — many of the rest of us are still grappling with the fact that we are a polarized society: a whole lot of us over here, and another whole lot of us over there. We are in factions, in bubbles, separated, with barely an inkling of how to come together.

No one needs a reminder about how the election showed this. And now, as a few different vaccines work their amazing way towards approval and then widespread distribution, we must anticipate also the effect of people commonly called “anti-vaxxers.” That term is itself controversial, since many within this group prefer to emphasize their alertness to danger with the term “vaccine risk aware.” They believe what they believe and won’t budge; and those of us putting faith in whatever the CDC approves are entrenched right where we are, too.

For someone writing a blog about contrasting elements, living side-by-side, it’s both an inviting and a daunting topic. The fact is, sometimes, the aspect of being cozily next to one another, differences be damned, fades and the vast distance part looms. “Hallooo over there! How’s the weather where you are?”

So it is in this context that all kinds of opposites emerge, everywhere we look. And the clashes aren’t peaceful, either.

Take “trust” and “distrust,” for example. That’s one I’ve been thinking a lot about recently, prompted by a rattling experience I had a few weeks ago. But first, let me turn to someone, young but by no means a whippersnapper, who actually wrote the, or at least a, book about this particular kind of stark contrast.

It’s beyond me how someone, especially someone still under 40, can go and write a whole book in only about a year, but apparently Pete Buttigieg has done that very thing with the publication of Trust: American’s Best Chance. Here is PB himself, talking in his characteristically upbeat and intellectual way about the book, with Michele Martin, on NPR.

Out in the marketplace, it’s likely to face some serious competition from Obama’s tome, A Promised Land, which took a more reasonable three-and-a-half years in production. Still, I bet the former candidate’s release will have plenty of takers, especially among people who were leaning in his direction about an age ago, during the primaries.

Here he is back whenever it was that he campaigned in New Hampshire, with an even younger man (and a bit taller) who happens to be my son.

I haven’t read Trust yet, but I anticipate from the title that it will be more national than personal in scope. I’m as interested in the well-being of America as the next patriot, but I confess to a greater fascination with matters of trust on a smaller level.

Take the iPhone, for example.

What I’m about to admit is humiliating, but I’d better just get on with it because otherwise I won’t get to the end of this blog.

A few Sunday afternoons ago, my phone rang – an unfamiliar number– and, you guessed it, I went ahead and answered it. The person on the other end claimed to be doing me a big favor. She began with something like this:  “This is Apple calling; we have detected some scammers trying to access your data and we have instructions for what you need to do to prevent this.” A text message was produced, an attempt to identify a legitimate Apple representative. I complied with the instructions, for the first few steps.

You already know, don’t you, that this was a scammer (part of a big group of scammers, operating from someone’s garage probably) pretending to be helping me defend against scammers who, in this case, were non-existent? Yes, the fact that I was asked to install a new app on my phone should have been a dead giveaway.

Once I came to my senses and tried to grope my way out of the tunnel I had entered, I felt as if I’d just been socked in the stomach. That’s what the turnabout from Trust to Distrust can do – suddenly, it feels completely Pollyanna-ish (I don’t get to use that word nearly enough) to believe that people are on your side. Of course they’re not! They’re only out to get you to further their own self-interest!

It wasn’t until a couple of days later, when I got to speak with a real Apple representative who was able to walk me through steps that would ensure my full safety, like someone leading me out of a swamp with quicksand, that I began to feel a return to the sunshine that comes with genuine, warranted confidence in someone or something.

How barren, how cold life would be without this feeling. Our eyes would be constantly darting around, spotting suspicious characters, our limbs trembling with fear; it’s the time spent with people in whom we can believe, people who also believe in us, that nourishes us the most.

In this time between Election Day and Christmas, between the onset of the pandemic and the close (?) of it, when politicians and regular people will keep striving and sometimes succeeding to get their books out, I plan to keep harvesting bundles of trust, as if they are long-burning logs, because in fact that’s just what they are.