Just A Moment While I Change
With just a little over a week still to go before Christmas (apparently Hanukkah starts that very evening this year), I don’t need to add to your growing pile about all that, so while you’re enjoying however you’re getting or not getting your holiday music, let’s consider a whole other subject, shall we?
First, though, I can’t resist showing just one example of the multicolor lights we (OK, Rob) put on the little Japanese maple last Friday, on the coldest afternoon we’ve had in recent history. The fact that he decided last year to leave this particular strand, and a few across the rhododendrons in front, on the branches through the rotation of the seasons saved some effort, but then there was still the dealing with extension chords and the deciding which new tree could be strung up, so to speak, this time around.
All of it reminded me that many activities go on repeat, sliding back into the same grooves, but not completely.
Which brings me to my chosen topic: how we embrace, resist, or resign ourselves to the inevitability of change.
Simple Act of Coping
On a recent trip to the downtown YMCA, I came in at the same time as a mother with two darling little girls. They were all bundled up and clearly excited for what was in store for them. Sadly, though, the front desk person confirmed what the whiteboard said: “Pool will be closed this afternoon for a private function.” The woman with the pompom on her hat was crushed, and when I expressed sympathy, she said, “We always come from a distance on Saturdays for the pool, and we just got dropped off.”
Later, when I was about to start my workout upstairs, I saw them again and asked what they’d decided to do. “Oh, we’ll just go upstairs to the playscape.” She wasn’t thrilled, knowing that their fun would be of shorter duration, but she’d pivoted and was coping with the unanticipated situation. My spirit surged with admiration for her.
Wanting the Exact Same Spoons
Not long before this, one day in our kitchen, my husband Rob had spoken truth when, during a discussion about how we should go about replacing our curiously depleted (where did all the tablespoons go?) silverware, he casually observed, “Yes, that’s because you have trouble with change.”
After trying to defend my stance that of course we should try to find the exact same pattern and not just settle for something close enough, I realized that he was actually right about the larger observation. That’s one of the things that happen when you live with somebody long enough: You have to admit that you’ve become an open book, and that not all of the themes emanating from your pages are wonderful 100% of the time.
Apples Get Old
One area of life where embracing change is definitely healthy has to be technology. I bought my first Mac laptop back in 2011 and, a whopping 13 years (probably three hundred blogs and one book manuscript) later, I’ve finally made the switch to a new MacBook Air. Was I pushing my luck just a bit? My husband certainly thought so.
As you see from the photo here, the “N” had faded away almost entirely. But that was nothing compared to how accustomed I’d become to everything working so sloooowly. Rob went with me to the Apple store about a month ago; we walked together down one of those mall hallways that sucks all the air out of your spiritual tires. But the person who helped us was cheerful and knowledgeable, and, with his encouragement, I began to feel that making this change would in fact be possible. Then came, of course, the transfer of everything from the old over to the new, thanks to another very savvy person’s help, and the small adjustments are still happening.
I’m guessing that some of you have been through something similar: you feel anxious, relieved, and ridiculously proud of yourself, even, for getting your nerve up to face something you know you have to face: change.
Even Some Shirts Must Go
And who hasn’t hesitated before tossing out a beloved item of clothing?
My son Henry gave me this shirt probably 15 years ago, preceding his organic farm summer jobs, and it just kept getting softer and more comfortable. But the rip around the neck started to be a problem. If I were my late brother Sandy, who wore his t-shirts around the barn and on his tractor until they practically disintegrated, I wouldn’t have minded. I’m still considering saving it in a box where I’m keeping a few other tattered shirts, including a UConn Huskies Championship one, in case I want to stitch them together into something cool one day. (Probably I should have kept that to myself.)
A Change Is Gonna Come, Right Here
Quoting the song title of the great Sam Cooke, I want to let you all know that I’m in the process of strategizing a change in how I do this blog, starting in the New Year. Many of you have probably heard by now of “Substack” — a platform where many writers have taken their newsletters. From what I’m learning, it’s become a kind of common highway where people can easily share their work, choose whom to follow, develop their themes, etc. I’m going to try to move this operation over there soon, and I hope that you will be open to making the transition with me, i.e, continue to be my followers. Terry, the wonderful website designer who has helped me from the beginning (at about the same time when I bought that first laptop) here on WordPress, has already discovered that we can in fact import our subscriber list to Substack.
In preparation for the book to be published probably next May (!?!?) the goal will be to set up a new author’s website, where there will be a link to the Substack, with new posts every two weeks (I hope). As for this “Panorama of a Pastor’s Wife” site, we’ll keep it for a while, at least, to be the holder of the Archives.
In the meantime, I’d love to hear from you about any of this, please! Especially if you already have favorite Substacks that you follow, what you like about them, any suggestions you have for me as I embark on this. It goes without saying that your support has meant a great deal to me as I’ve toiled over the book manuscript, and now that it’s moving closer to publication, your support will mean even more.
Thank you so much, HAPPY HOLIDAYS and I look forward to greeting you again in 2025. Whaaat? That’s crazy.
I love your blog, Polly, and that phrase about change and spiritual tires really
resonates. I will follow you wherever you go, and enjoy the holidays with
your dear ones, and have a blessed 2025. Love, Scottie
Scottie, there you go again…being so wonderful. I am grateful for your ongoing support, and know that when the book actually arrives, you’ll help me get the word out! Here’s hoping to see you both in the New Year; wishing you good health and plenty of laughter.
Polly – just keep your blog coming. It’s needed now more than ever and brings peace and joy year round. Thank you for sharing your life experiences with all of us. We can relate to many of them but could not describe them as artfully. Love to all!
Thanks, Barb..Are you loyal, or what?! Hard to believe just how long I’ve been doing this, but hey, I’ve got to hang in there now til the last part of this operation is up and running. Always love hearing about YOUR life experiences too..the number of people you two keep up with is practically mind-blowing! Actually, R had a re-connection today that you’ll like hearing about when I get to tell you. In the meantime, Merry Christmas to all!
Hello Polly! I’ve been reading your blog for years! Congratulations on the book! One of my own author newsletters is on Substack (mine is “Japlish”) and I can confirm that the community is lively and interesting, and the newsletters are easy to administer. Come on over! Reach out anytime for a list of my favorites, hope to see you there!
Oh Maya, how happy I am to hear from you…and to learn about your slice of Substack! I’ll go find you there ASAP and email you back.
Thanks so much, and happy holidays to your wonderful family.
I like Rosie Spinks on Substack. Check her out; she is a good writer.
Thanks, A! Will certainly check her out now. Interesting how this Substack thing has exploded recently, huh? Will circle back to you after I have a chance to see what she writes about. In the meantime, sending you best wishes for the holidays and beyond..from all of us.
Hey Polly! Love your reflections about all the small moments that bring their own gifts. And you are a gift! Looking forward do reading your work in Substack space! And congratulations on moving that book into publication so more of the world can share it. We can all put on our FB and LinkedIn pages – just ask all to do this!
You go girl!
The best of the holidays to you and yours.
Love, Marcy
So wonderful to find this, Marcy — thank you! And ongoing CONGRATS for your book, which is just what so many people need right now.
Thanks for reminding me about LinkedIn, too…Must get back to that site: ah, time management, always a thing!
And wherever you are for the holidays, you’ll bring joy – of that I am sure.
Happy holidays, Polly. Wishing you and yours a healthy and happy season.
How great to hear from you, Sarah!! Ah, remembering the good ol’ days down at Hampshire College…Those kids we needed to drive to stuff back then are all over the map, out on their own now. Am smiling right now just remembering YOUR smile! Wishing you all a wonderful New Year.
Polly, so wonderful to wake up to this post…so relatable, so clever, so YOU with its humor and reflection. OF COURSE, we will all follow you to Substack! One of my favorite writers on Substack is artist-musician-writer Suleika Jarouad. She has some health challenges, so sometimes a handful of her friends along with her husband fill in for her on substack during treatments, and they are all wonderful, too. Suleika is married to the equally extraordinary Jon Batiste. You may have seen him and his house band on Stephen Colbert. It is the cosmopolitan nature of her posts along with her reverence for all life has to offer that draws me to her writing. Can’t wait for the book in May!
Wow, Darcy, thanks so much for this. I had not heard of this writer and will definitely check her out now. I should stay up later once in a while to see Stephen Colbert’s show; bet it’s good. (Am hearing about his work partnership with his wife.) What gets me, I guess, is how busy people manage to do their reading in all different places, and still get the cooking and laundry and exercising done! And we’re all the lucky ones, too.
Got first possible book cover designs today..Is this really happening ?! Thanks, D. for your perpetual support — means a lot to me.
I’m happy that your book is going to be published. I’m saving my late husband’s souvenir t-shirts to make a quilt so you stuck a chord there. I resist the change involved with moving to a retirement community. (Ask Mary Ann.) I have no idea what a substack is but trust that I will find your essays. Keep writing!
Thanks for this, Sandy. Glad that my cousin invited you to join in the fun here. About the quilt — yes, that’s what I’m hoping to do one day, too! And moving to a retirement community must seem like a daunting change; while it works for many (my mother-in-law loves her new place) it doesn’t appeal to others. Be exactly who you are!
Oh Polly, I can’t tell you how timely a topic this is in our retirement community, where there has been more than a little grumbling about changes of various sorts. I may quote you on “embrace, resist or resign…”
Hoping all goes well with the new computer, the book and switch to Substack – and that you have some good family time in the next few weeks.
“Grumbling” — Now there’s a word to tip your hat to, Betsy! Thanks very much for this. Now you’ve got me curious about the kinds of changes you’ve got going on there, but I’ve heard about this kind of situation at other retirement communities, so I can guess. Keeping a sense of humor must be essential. Currently mailing boxes to our two sons, but we’ll have our daughter here next week. Wishing you all the best for 2025..coming soon!